I was born
Son of Carl, brother of Josh
Our life wasn't rich, our house wasn't posh
My mother was Jennie, they named me Kenny
My name's not Denny, My name's not Lenny

Tallahassee was where I was born
My jeans were ripped, my shirts were worn
I jumped around from school to school
Spent all of my summers in the public swimming pool

My parents were hippies, I can't stand yuppies
I do like kittens, I don't like puppies
I went Leon High and Florida State
Never on time, always late

I jumped around from home to home
Fucked around got carpal tunnel syndrome
Got rosacia and hypoglycemia
Ate too much never got bulimia

This is the autobiography of the T
Rex, yeah that's me
This is the autobiography of the T
Rex, yeah that's me

My dad went to prison for selling that grass
I used to ride the bus with my multipass
My mom stole my money on fucking payday
From the South, I always tried to get away

I always felt like I belonged in the city
Tried to be a smartass, tried to be witty
Wasted 13 years on the wrong fucking girl
But our three kids are the best in the world

Spent too much time in a fucking office
Then I joined the Democratic caucus
Liberal politics, writing and blogs
What came before, just a prologue

Spent too much time working fast food
I fucking hate douchebag dudes
Homesick for the home I never had
This song is for my aunt and for my dad

This is the autobiography of the T
Rex, yeah that's me
This is the autobiography of the T
Rex, yeah that's me

My American idols hate reality tv
My thinking is critical and its free
You're happy just sitting on your ass
I'm writing a novel, I'm teaching a class

I love everybody, but I hate you
You're watching Jersey Shore, I'm starting a coup
I'm always thinking of new ways to dream
New ways to scheme, new ways to gleam

Yes on sex, no on massage
Lyrical collage, intellectual barrage
I read books like you watch TV
If you don't learn, you ain't better than me

Now I'm searching all over
For the place I'm supposed to go
Going back to Tally?
Nah, I don't think so

This is the autobiography of the T
Rex, yeah that's me
This is the autobiography of the T
Rex, yeah that's me